The Greatest Tweets of Kanye West

Kanye West is the self proclaimed “greatest rapper of all time.” But judging by his activity on social medial over the past few years, he may want to rethink that title. It seems that whatever talent Kanye West has for rapping he also has for tweeting, flooding the internet with his so eloquently written social commentaries  And with Kanye posting more ominous tweets and tackling large serious topics like racism in his new music, I think its good to return to a simpler time: a time when Kanye’s only troubles were being responsible for that bottle, yo. Let’s take a moment to analyze the underrated genius that are the tweets of Kanye West.

 

How much is a shit load exactly? I’m assuming its more than a piss load.

Correct. Kanye is playing off the idea that a “shit load” is a lot. Relatively speaking, a “piss load” must be a small amount. This is true considering other things that involve “piss” are low or of poor quality. Consider a “piss poor attitude.”

 

NO ALCOHOL BEFORE TATOOS

FALSE: without alcohol there wouldn’t even be tattoos.

 

Why Halloween bring out girls inner hoe…I was supposed to type freak but I just typed what I really meant instead. LOL

This is real rap music, telling it like it is and exposing the world to harsh realities. Girls always slut it up for Halloween. costumes can range from things like slutty cat to slutty Nancy Pelosi. Why? Why don’t you just ask how the universe began? Or where all the change you loose in the sofa actually goes? Like these questions, the great Halloween slut mystery may never be solved.

 

I just threw some kazoo on this bitch

Now we know why Yeezus took so long to release.

 

I don’t want to see any movie that doesn’t have mind blowing special effects… ‪#EVERAGAIN‬”

So I guess he won’t a huge fan of The King’s Speech.

 

Never do coke with an intern…they may not be 21

Kanye West has interns!?!?! What a hell of a summer that would be. Oh, you volunteered in a hospital? Yeah, I did coke with Kanye West. Best. Summer. Ever.

 

Sometimes I get emotional over fonts

Don’t even get me started, fonts are like writer porn. Not to be confused with 50 Shades of Gray which is actually written porn.

 

Man… whatever happened to my antique fishtank?

I think what Kanye is referring to here is actually a pond.

 

I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.

Ahh, a simpler time for Kanye. It’s hard to believe incidents like this serve for the entire inspiration for Graduation. Also, replace the words “water bottle” with “baby” and you’ve got yourself a great sitcom concept.

 

Boyfriends are like rush hour traffic…. Always in the FUCKING WAY

Why do rappers always want to take “yo” girl…? No, get your own girl Kanye, and you to 2 Chainz.

 

Fur pillows are hard to actually sleep on.

Preach.

 

I don’t understand why they have a do not disturb button on the plane if they keep waking you asking if you want juice.

Well, I wouldn’t exactly know what that’s like, since they don’t wake up the cattle in coach.

 

Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books.

I said the same thing in 3rd grade.

 

I’ve finally realized as long as you use profanity when you talk about art and fashion it’s better accepted!!!

God damn! That’s deep shit!

 

Written by Alex Baumgarten


About the author

Alex Baumgarten is the administrative director of BadgerSenate.com. He contributed to TheCoope.com, is a reader for Fortnight Literary Press, and is the music blogger for consideronline.org in Ann Arbor Michigan. He is currently a student at The University of Michigan studying English.