If Rappers Were Restaurant Chains


In-N-OutIf Rappers were Restaurant Chains..

Both rappers and restaurant chains play a big part of life and pop-culture, especially amongst us college students. So what if rappers were… restaurants…?


Lil Wayne/McDonald’s

McDonald’s is the biggest, most well known fast food chain in the world. And growing up, the Happy Meal was one of the greatest meals to grace the dinner table (right under Thanksgiving dinner). That is, until we grew up. Then things changed, (except for the fact that nothing will ever top stuffing on Thanksgiving) and we outgrew the Happy Meal. Similarly, Lil Wayne is (or was) one of the most widely recognized rappers in the world. And yet, something about his music tasted better when we were growing up (I’m talking pre-The Carter IV). Since the Carter IV his music hasn’t been up to par with the Weezy we once knew.

Mac Miller/Starbucks

Starbucks has developed quite a stereotype for bringing flocks of white girls through it’s doors each day. Mac Miller’s fan base is made up of those same girls. Once more, both are overrated and ask you to overpay for a pretty generic product.

Drake/Tim Horton’s

Time Horton’s is Canadian, Drake is Canadian. Tim Horton’s soup is great when you’re sick, and Drake’s music is perfect when you’re love-sick. The similarities are endless, eh?

Chief Keef/Taco Bell

While there’s some argument for McDonald’s, I think everyone agrees that Taco Bell is disgusting. That doesn’t mean we don’t eat it, we just don’t generally commend it. The cheese doesn’t look at all like cheese, and the meat is questionable, at best. In summary, we avoid Taco Bell, especially when trying to keep up that New Year’s resolution for healthy eating. That is, when sober. While Taco Bell has a pretty shitty reputation when it comes to quality of dining, get a few drinks in your system and suddenly it’s 5 star. Chief Keef is the obvious parallel here. Sober, it’s common knowledge that his music isn’t top notch. However, no one can argue that “Hate Bein Sober” isn’t on the list of top 10 pregame songs. And when drunk, ALL bitches love Sosa.

Macklemore/Chick-fil-A

Because it’s ironic to have the restaurant publicly anti-gay, represented by the rapper making a difference in the gay community. Take that, homophobia.

Big K.R.I.T/Popeye’s Chicken & Biscuits

Big K.R.I.T has taken hold of southern rap over the last few years, similar to Popeye’s Chicken & Biscuits, a restaurant reigning from Louisiana.

Lil Jon/Papa John’s Pizza

While it may seem as though the similarities between Papa John’s and Lil Jon are limited to the name, they’re both also great at parties. The most important similarity? Both are cheesy.

Kendrick Lamar/In-N-Out Burger

Ask someone from the California, In-N-Out Burger dominates the West Coast food franchise game. Much like Kendrick Lamar, the rapper who many would argue is at the top of West Coast Hip-Hop.

Rick Ross/Subway

rick-ross-fat-bellySubway, the “healthy” option for fast food frequenters. Ok, maybe not. But Rick Ross needs another health and fitness sponsorship following Reebok. Rozay, eat fresh! Right?

 Written by Melissa McDougall


About the author

Melissa is a student at the University of Michigan. When she isn't doing nothing, she's busy making big life decisions as she works towards an undecided major.