We continue our coverage of the Grand Rapids Festival of the Arts with one of the worst bands I’ve ever almost paid to see! Okay, sure, the show was free, and the cost of stick meat wasn’t really necessary, but, it sure as hell felt like it. The only thing that made this run-of-the-mill metal inspired, garage rock monstrosity, tolerable, was trying to choke down slabs of smoked pork to accompany their unintelligible flailing.
I know, most metal bands are a tough sell. While Metallica will be the first to tell you they copied the sound of Mötley Crüe’s “Dr. Feel Good,” on much of their acclaimed album, Metallica (creative, I know), All metal bands—and metal band names for that matter—look more different then they sound. I’ll admit that Metallica’s guitarist has some chops, but let’s not make any mistake that it’s a genre based more on looking different than sounding good. With hipsters kicking ass at both, what’s metal to do but adapt or die? Aside from my obvious biases, the commentary is mostly sound. In either case, I’m feeling comfortable that Ejection Seat won’t understand enough to argue for either side anyway.
It’s not to say that this group was a total loss—it’s likely more a reflection on the festival itself. What’s to like about a festival your home town throws? They’ll put any idiot on stage at least once. Here, bands learn a lot about what they should and shouldn’t do in front of a crowd. And of course, most learn the hard way. Maybe Ejection Seat just needs to work a few things out. They’re not my style, but they might find it after some slaving away. Until they do, let’s all enjoy the one liners in the picture captions.
Photography by Mallory Patterson
Written by Frank Cass